Trans Male
He/Him Blog about Tony Curtis. Jerry Lewis. Dean Martin. Patti Lewis. Janet Leigh
@anarchistemma inspired the direction of this blog. I was referring to her in my blog intro when I said there were people on here doing the good work.
It just so happens that Emma Goldman was a childhood hero of mine. It was so exciting to see someone in this community honoring her. In my opinion her blog couldn’t be more fitting to continue the legacy of a woman who fought for LGBT rights that were hardly imagined until two hundred years later. Every Pride month I anticipated her excellent posts.
Much like myself she looked deeper than what was on the surface of the celebrity persona. I was introduced to the academic opinions on the work of Jerry Lewis. The most meaningful to me was an academic paper analyzing the feminist themes of Jerry’s films. That PDF she sent me is one of my most prized posessions. Not only was it deeply validating to know someone in the professional field of academia wrote about the same themes in his work that I continue to write about but in that same message the PDF was attached to she shared with me that Jerry seemed pleased with the paper and requested SEVERAL copies.
I am not the most confident person in the world. Many times I have doubted if my posts were worth the hours and energy I put into them. It would be far easier to post a gif and leave my opinions to myself but after that I knew it was worth it. I’ve had darker moments of even deeper doubt after that and I’m sure she had no idea how much her encouraging comments meant to me.
I still remember our first conversation and thinking to myself this is why I joined Tumblr so I could meet people like this.
Thank you for talking to me and showing me the potential of this platform.
I’m just now learning of your passing, my dear friend Beth @anarchistemma . You gave me great advice throughout the years, and were like a mom in that way. We never met in person, but we met online through our love of Jerry Lewis. I’m sad about the things I’ll never get to share with you. I wish you had more time, and that cancer didn’t exist. My heart breaks for you. 💔 I hope you weren’t in a lot of pain at the end. I’ll never know, because you never answered my last message. Rest easy my friend. I hope you get to meet Jerry Lewis up there.
[ALL BROKEN LINKS FIXED] 75 Links to Celebrate 75 Years of Martin and Lewis
Are you new to Martin and Lewis?
Do you want to dive deeper than the movies or their appearances on the Colgate Comedy Hour?
Perhaps you care to know more about their personal relationship?
Below is a list of resources made by me and others to aid you in that journey.
I wrote this for people who are new to the wonderful and sometimes headache inducing world of Martin and Lewis.
Here’s the long story short on Martin and Lewis from a fan who has been writing about them for close to a decade.
Jerry Lewis was born a complete individual. I lovingly refer to him as the unicorn. His capacity to feel emotions so much deeper than the average person made him a groundbreaking artist as an adult and he considered it to be one of his strengths. But to have a childhood filled with abuse, trauma and abandonment was especially difficult for him and he couldn’t heal and move on from his emotional pain. Growing up he felt alone and often referred to himself as ‘nothing’.
Dean Martin also had a difficult childhood that helped foster his avoidant behavior. He had the natural ability to be good at anything he tried and life was nice and easy. This life, however, was solitary because no one could get close enough to him to see past the handsome good looks and the happy go lucky attitude.
When these two found each other sometime between 1942 and 1944 they balanced out the other. Dean helped Jerry deal with his overwhelming emotions and gave him the supportive father figure he so desperately needed. Jerry brought out Dean’s nurturing side and kind nature. He taught Dean to not completely close himself off from his emotions and not be so protective of his true self that no one else can see it. But what they found is what they needed most of all, a friend.
Through this friendship and deep understanding of each other they formed a professional partnership. The act was officially billed as sex and slapstick, though it was the love that the audience responded to. Dean and Jerry’s dynamic in their personal relationship had many different levels and this carried into the dynamic of their act. Dean would play the father as well as the best friend, practically inventing the buddy comedy concept, but oftentimes he played the lover too. In modern times this kind of comedy was called “bromance” but the subtext (to be honest it was all TEXT) of Martin and Lewis being romantic partners WAS NOT THE PUNCHLINE.
Jerry prided himself on being the anti-conformist and pushing the limits on what 1950s America could handle. His character’s sexuality was not the joke but the commentary. Martin and Lewis threw heteronormativity out the freaking window. There was no “man” of the relationship. They traded power dynamics back and forth and before you knew what was happening Dean all of a sudden has a feminine lilt to his voice and is lusting after Jerry. In fact, at times they might both be the girl.
Jerry felt that comedy could change the world and he wouldn’t settle for anything less. Dean wanted to make the world laugh. Together they became the most revolutionary comedic act in history.
On July 25, 1956 Martin and Lewis ended their professional relationship. To Jerry their personal relationship had ended as well but Dean didn’t get that memo and later found out from reading Jerry’s interview in Look Magazine several months later. This perfectly illustrates their problems with miscommunication.
There isn’t agreement over who was the first one to initiate the divorce and there are many competing theories as to what was the ultimate cause.
I can, however, tell you what was not the cause. Golf did not end a ten year marriage. Jerry wanting to sing was not the last straw for Dean. Jerry had been singing since their first movie together. And it wasn’t Jerry’s directing aspirations either. Dean praised Jerry as a director as early as 1952. He also was aware that Jerry had to be involved in everything from the very beginning. None of that could be surprising to Dean so Jerry’s ego had nothing to do with it either.
Outside forces were the main source of tension to their relationship. I suggest looking back to when these problems stopped being brushed to the side and what could have been the underlying cause.
I feel what keeps us coming back for more is that Dean and Jerry did not go their separate ways. They were in each other’s lives for decades, having one reunion after the next, after the next, after the next. Every year secrets get revealed and we get more pieces to the puzzle. This can be both the wonderful and headache inducing part.
“I want sharesies!” He said. “Dont we always share everthing?” “Yeah,” I said “We share sanwiches, make up, towels, tux ties, but we never share ladies. I would never let you near mine, and you would never let me near yours.” “Did you ever hear of an ammendment?” -Dean and Me
Is it just me or was this left hanging in the air? What happened after he said that????
){kind=link}
){kind=link}